::throws self on ground and begins to cry and scream::

::picks self up and grabs at composure and begins to speak as if nothing ever happened::

today was nice. i went to job services. those ppl are stupid. *will explain if info. is requested.* i ran around town with my dad .... picked up my sister from school and went to the mall to get anniversarry card for mom and dad's 20th, went by flourist, came home. mark bought me a dozen roses today. they are so pretty and smell so nice. <3  watched what i could of "a clockwork orange" before i had to come home to make curfew. ::growls:: going to charlotte this weekend to see family. wish i could stay here with mark. ::pouts:: not understanding emotions at presant. feeling alone. ? 

xxx~

stupidho

blah! it's so boring living at home. there's nothing going on. i can't go and do anything. what is there to write about? i love to write. without writing the same ol' same ol' about how sad and depressed i am....and that....is boring. WHAT IS THERE TO WRITE ABOUT??? oh yeah.... "today i ate food. i also pet my cat and went to the bathroom a few times...." who wants to hear about that? well....acctually...who wants to hear about anything that i do? but, i figure, if i'm going to subject someone's poor unguarded mind to the retardedness that is my life....why not give them something realatively interesting??? but how can i do that in this box??? there's nothing to write about. it's driving me insane. i feel this sudden urge to revert back to my adolescent days and make bold and irratic descesions to do......"bad things". like maybe just leave or yell at my mom for no appearant reason. something! anything! i just need some substance.

anyways, i'm going to go now. xxx

have new xanga. check it out. it's stupid now, but i'll be working on it. it's a slow process. i'm at "home" now, so the computer is dial-up. have fun kiddies. ~kay

playhouse_memoirs